Gamer Love Letter

Baby, you know I love you. You also know how much I love video games. Sure, we play the odd console game now and then, but I know sometimes you think I put plug and play over…well, you get the idea. So to let you know how I truly feel about you, I’ve written you a love letter. It’s written in the blood of all the Covenant/Helghast/minions of Olympus that stood in my way to you.

1. I will always pause the game when you want to talk…about something besides about how incredible I am at dispatching Nazi zombies with impunity.

2. You can use my gamertag…just please use your own on Halo 3, Modern Warfare 2, NCAA ’11, or any other game my buddy Keith is particularly good at. Long story short, he caught me in a lie before I met you.

3. I promise I will never let you win in Mario Kart Wii.

4. When playing Co-op, you get first choice of the power-ups…but let me have the rocket launcher. It just takes a more delicate touch and there’s, like, no ammo for it on this map.

more after the jump!

Han Solo to Lando: “Not a scratch, you said!”

Another entry from “Letters From Dagobah.”

In happier times.

Hey Lando,

Sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you in person. Things got a little bit nuts right after the battle and the Ewoks insisted on throwing a little BBQ. One drink turned into about seven or thirteen, and then her royal highness-of-no-existing-planet starts giving me the business, blah blah blah…let’s just say I’m not so scruffy-lookin’ no more.

(I’m saying I hit it.)

Pay up, Antilles!

10 Thought Tuesday: Rap song covers that are better than the orginals

Rap songs can be mind-blowingly awful (see my thoughts on Asher Roth). Some are wonderful, but occasionally they’re made better by those who have no connection whatsoever to the rap game. Look, if Jay-Z can do part of “Wonderwall,” I feel totally comfortable telling you which rap songs are made better by white dudes in bushy beards. A great rap cover will either:

1) expose the lyrics for the mindless, talentless, moronic rhyming couplets that they are.

or

2) take the song in a completely different, often softer and dangerously emotive, direction. Who would have thought you’d make love to “Hey Ya” after sophomore year of college!

10. Hey Ya covered by Mat Weddle of Obadiah Parker- At first I wondered why Zack Gilifinakis was covering an Outkast song. Then I pressed play and really enjoyed this in an indulgent, sensitive way. It goes really well with my just purchased copy of “New Moon.”

9 THROUGH 1 AFTER THE JUMP