Things I Can’t Take Back: I Still Like Creed


Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.

THING I CAN’T TAKE BACK:

I STILL LIKE CREED

Arguably, this is how pretty much everyone acts when they hear this album.

Arguably, this is how pretty much everyone acts when they hear this album.

Screw you. I feel the judging. I hear your snickering. You mock me rightfully, and I know in five years I’ll look back on this one and put it up there in the all-time, “What the hell was I thinking?” category. I’m totally, completely aware of this.

Doesn’t change the fact that Creed rocks so hard.

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Things I Can’t Take Back: That time I went tanning


Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.

Thing I can’t take back:

That Time I Went Tanning

Growing up in the Northeast United States, you appreciate the passing of seasons and you understand that sometimes the sun is going to go away for a very long time. You spend a lot of time indoors, you shovel the sidewalk, fall into long periods of depression, and then spring comes. At no point in those three/four/seven months are you supposed to be described with any of these adjectives: ruddy, hale, tawny, tan, bronzed, healthy. Some people don’t get this memo, and so they go to tanning salons dotted around Boston to get some Technicolor.

 In the beginning of 2003, I was one of those people. Once.

 

It got worse. It got a lot worse.

It got worse. It got a lot worse.

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Things I Can’t Take Back: My years-long crush on Tara Reid


Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.

Thing I can’t take back:
My years-long crush on Tara Reid

As far as I'm concerned, there was no year after 2002.

As far as I'm concerned, there was no year after 2002.

In the spring of 2002, my friends Tony, Adam, Pat, and I went on spring break to the totally wild and absolutely incomprehensible party cluster F that is…Williamsburg, Virginia. Hey, any port in a storm. On the road trip from MA to VA, we had the newest issue of Maxim magazine that featured the soon-to-be-co-star of Van Wilder, Tara Reid. 

 

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Things I Can’t Take Back: my affair with Michael Jordan Cologne


THINGS I CAN’T TAKE BACK

Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.

THING I CAN’T TAKE BACK:

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL JORDAN COLOGNE

Everyone in this picture fell victim to The Love Potion. I really called it that.

Everyone in this picture fell victim to The Love Potion. I really called it that.

(The full confession after the jump)

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Things I Can’t Take Back: My past with puka shell necklaces


Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.

THING I CAN’T TAKE BACK:

MY PAST WITH PUKA SHELL NECKLACES

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