Have you ever done something so lame, so embarrassing, so unbelievably STUPID that you visibly cringe, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing? Lord knows I have. I’ve got a ton of those under my belt. So I figure, why not share those with you? You know, you are my friends and all.
THING I CAN’T TAKE BACK:
I STILL LIKE CREED
Screw you. I feel the judging. I hear your snickering. You mock me rightfully, and I know in five years I’ll look back on this one and put it up there in the all-time, “What the hell was I thinking?” category. I’m totally, completely aware of this.
Doesn’t change the fact that Creed rocks so hard.
I know exactly where I was when I heard “Higher” for the first time. I was waiting for my JV basketball game against Buckingham, Browne and Nichols (which was always a good win; you got to pretend that you beat 3 teams. Cheeky). Brendan Rampi was listening to the Creed album, and I habitually “borrowed” CDs from him. I think he forcibly took back his Rage Against the Machine album, and I swiped Creed like a young Mark Wahlberg in “The Italian Job.”
That first riff in “Higher?” Are you friggin’ kidding me? I rocked out, friends and lovers. I was so amped I dropped career JV numbers on those fools! 8 points, BBN! Suck on that, shorties!
I was hooked. Creed rocked hard. I didn’t care if Scott Stapp thinks he’s Jesus or if he was stone drunk in arena venues singing “I’m a little teapot” over “My Sacrifice.” You think I listen to Creed for the lyrics? Get off my plane.
Scott Stapp may be a douchebag, but he’s a douchebag who fronted at least three legitimate pump-you-up-dick-slap-a-stranger rockin’ tunes.
A few months ago my girlfriend woke up to me and a Rock Band guitar, furiously jamming to “Higher.” Was she thankful for this gift of rock? No, that’s why I was on top of her. You don’t walk out on Creed. In a related story, don’t fall asleep tonight.
Now, unlike my other forays into the unbearably embarrassing, I KNOW I’m going to look back on my Creed days and want to kick my own ass. The signs are everywhere. Creed was a punchline on “How I Met Your Mother” last week. Music magazines skewer them so bad, even Fred Durst is saying, “Just leave the poor bastard alone already.” And despite Scott Stapp’s money and influence, Eddie Vedder is still alive. I imagine he’s also ordered a hit out on Nickelback, I mean, the dude owns TWO MP-5s! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Stapp#Controversies
But even after all this, and fully conscious of how lame I am, I will still rock me some Creed. You’re welcome to point and laugh as I wail away on my air guitar and bask in the pseudo-Christian rock, but Jesus is totally head banging with me.
I’m your friend, Woody Tondorf, and I still like the music of Creed, and that’s something I can’t take back.
At least they’re not Nickelback.
Filed under: comedy, douchebags, Essays, rock band, Things I can't take back | Tagged: air force one, are you ready, Creed, Creed sucks, Eddie Vedder, fred durst, higher, mark wahlberg, my sacrifice, nickelback, nickelback sucks, Pearl Jam, Scott Stapp, Scott Stapp sucks, Things I can't take back, woody tondorf |