Giant-sized Gossip Girl Review: The Kids Aren’t All Right


Gossip Girl Review: Dan and Blair. Yeah. You read that.

This is happening. Just accept it.

Okay! Let’s shake off the rust here for a second. It’s been a dog’s age, friends, lovers, and thieves. I think my last review was somewhere at the start of season three around the time that Gossip Girl decided to just go off the freaking rails and I swore I’d never love again.

Then people started paying me to write about TV.

SHAMELESS PLUG: My new show, bought and paid for by Hulu, where I write with brilliant folks about TV. It’s called The Morning After, and it’s on Hulu every weekday. I feel dirty doing that, but that’s why I watched Gossip Girl last night and why I’m back to doing this.

Also, I now have help. Very witty, New York-based, wonderful to look at, delightfully English help. Learn who it is after the jump.

Continue reading

Gossip Girl Review: “Enough About Eve”


SILLY VANESSA, SUCCESS IS FOR RICH KIDS.

This is when we start the "Un-der Ra-Ted" cheer

This is when we start the "Un-der Ra-Ted" cheer

I think before Gossip Girl came to TV one of the senior writers had a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” moment with Jessica Szohr (Vanessa Abrahms) and swore on the grave of his/her parents that Jessica would pay for whatever transgression she made. This week, that vendetta against Vanessa became the A storyline.

I have to get a little bit ranty for a moment. Jessica Szohr is underrated. After three seasons of watching Serena fumble from mistake to mistake and Nate being banished to permanent C stoyline arcs, Vanessa has been consistent. She’s always getting crushed but she’s never whiny. She’s always the underdog but she never makes a big deal out of it. It was funny for a couple years to laugh at the Gossip Girl staple of crushing V time and time again, but come ON. Maybe the writers were trying to make point this week that Vanessa is her own worst enemy and the only true source of her disappointment, but Jessica Szohr’s been working hard on this role for three seasons and she deserves a victory this season. Ok, sincere moment over. Let’s step on some poor kids.

Continue reading

Gossip Girl Review: Poppygate


Yes, I know, I missed last week’s review. There wasn’t really anything to declare from that episode…I would have made mercilious fun of it and you would have giggled.

 

suspension of disbelief only goes so far, fellas.

suspension of disbelief only goes so far, fellas.

The only thing we can take away from last week is that Gossip Girl, despite its inane sub plots and going-in-circles character arcs, has a desire to live beyond this season. They’re taking steps to keep all the college-bound characters WITHIN New York, instead of the Jump The Campus death trap of sending them out into the world. Well done, Gossip Girl. We might have learned something from The OC after all.

The strength of this episode was not in the dialogue. It wasn’t in any big revelations or deaths or giant social events where every character, regardless of class status, shows up. Instead it moved quickly to the end and, with the exception of one scene between Blair and Serena, never really stopped to let the lines fall flat. Not a REMARKABLE episode, but after the streak of stinkers we’ve had lately, I’ll take whatever I can get.

Continue reading

Gossip Girl Review: When GG told us they’ve done NOTHING this season


How long has this season BEEN? We started around September, had a couple hiatuses, a few strings of episodes, due for another hiatus…and then socialite Poppy opens her big mouth. “So…everything’s EXACTLY the way it was?”

 

In the interest of fairness, we DID get to ogle Leighton Meester for a whole season. Net win, friends.

In the interest of fairness, we DID get to ogle Leighton Meester for a whole season. Net win, friends.

Yep, Gossip Girl just took us by the hand, patted us condescendingly on the cheek, and told us we were wandering in the desert for months…and we’ve been walking in circles.

 

Uh-oh.

 

I’m sorry, I know Gossip Girl is very self-referential, but should a show REALLY tell us that we’ve covered NO GROUND in a whole season? Did Gossip Girl just give us the finger and laugh at us for being led around by the nose to pretty much nowhere?

 

I feel dirty. So much more after the jump.

 

Continue reading

Gossip Girl Review: The Curious Case of Nate Archibald


THE CURIOUS CASE OF NATE ARCHIBALD

I'm back, bitch.

I'm back, bitch.

Welcome back, Gossip Girl. That show that was pretending to be you for the last few episodes just had to go.

Last night, “The Grandfather” reminded us just why we watch Gossip Girl.

-The beautiful tension between Chuck and Blair and the constant see-saw on who has the upper hand.

-The unspoken class war.

-Destinies being written out for kids before they even graduate high school and their search for themselves.

-Betraying your best friends by sleeping with their lovers.

-Vanessa gets trod on.

Continue reading