It started on the first of September and will finally end today: the second season of Gossip Girl. Yes, it really did go from September to May.
Tonight I’ll be live blogging my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and hissy fits
while watching the season finale. I encourage you to comment and follow along. If you don’t…well, I’ll put you in a limo with Bart Bass’ PI. We all know how that worked out.
I’m going to start with this: Tonight’s ep is titled, “The Goodbye Gossip Girl.” Fun title, if you don’t remember that season two of The OC also had an episode titled, “The Goodbye Girl.” While I totally deserve the judging you’re feeling right now, it doesn’t change the fact that GG is still feeding off The OC.
7:58: Welcome. This GG live blogging event brought to you by Miller Lite, my turkey fajitas, and Roommate Ryan. Produced by Roommate Ryan (he waves hello. We’ve been drinking. Yep. 2 dudes drinking, sitting back for some Gossip Girl. Have you met my girlfriend yet?)
8:00: Will we see more Chuck/Blair? YES.
8:01- “Gossip Girl does not report on college.” CHALLENGE FLAG!!! There’s no way this holds.
8:02- Blair’s look to the paparazzi kills me. We all know what’s up!
8:03- EXPOSITION ALERT!
8:04- Which hairstyle did Jenny settle on? #3?
8:05- New bitch alert! That actress must have been SO psyched!
Jenny will give GG the blast that Serena’s mom sent her to jail. I’ll just risk it.
8:06: Chuck is GRADUATING?!? Didn’t he take the last year OFF? Did he buy them a library?!?
8:07- Black student count: 1
8:08- This is the smallest class I’ve ever seen.
8:09- I liked that last carpet bombing from GG. Why is everyone so shaken by this?? You’re bigger than this game!!!!
Let’s check the score here: Chuck Bass: coward. That’s right, he’s REALLY going to care…being an 18 year old BILLIONAIRE?!? Why are people up in arms? Wasn’t irrelevant what Serena WANTED? Don’t try a group attack, kids! You KNOW this will go WRONG!
8:13- Again, why do we CARE?
Roommate Ryan: “Why is Nate talking to the adults? They don’t read Gossip Girl!”
Are the kids all pollsters? This is kind of absurd.
8:14- Grandfather seemed a little bit excited about Nate’s adventures.
8:15- Dan is playing the right game here, and Serena’s…
SERENA’S BOOBS!!!!! THEY’RE INCREDIBLE!!!!
They’re like two scoops of french vanilla ice cream…scooped by Megan Fox.
8:16- Listen kids, you’re not going to find out who Gossip Girl is. She’s like Carmen Sandiego.
8:18- Oh. I was wrong. You win this round, GG.
Jonathan? Well, if Carmen Sandiego was a gay UES kid.
8:22- OK, I get out of this ok.
8:23: YES! RUFUS PLAYING THE GUITAR! “Remember when I played in a big rock band?”
Star Wars fail. Nerd references never work on teen dramedies. (That’s not true).
8:24: Roommate Ryan: “Let’s make a baby and give it up for adoption!”
“I want someone who loves me like Cyrus loves you.”
RR: “From behind and mostly in the dark?”
8:26- Yes, Chuck rocks another suit. Meanwhile, Jenny wrestles with the dark side.
8:28: I hate you, Chuck Bass.
8:30- Boom goes the Gossip Girl.
8:33- “I’m standing right here!” Why hasn’t Vanessa just shanked a bitch yet?
After reaming out Dan, Roommate Ryan: “And you wear really small vests.”
8:35- What if Chuck Bass turned out to be a vampire? Who would really be surprised?
-Look, Gossip Girl, I’m staring to be over the Chuck Blair thing. I hope this gets resolved, but I’m not holding out any hope.
8:37- I still dont care about Rufus and Lily.
HEY! Gossip Girl! Kiki and Sandy already DID THIS!
rr: Goddammit if I see a Lincoln Hawk ring in Urban Outfitters I will fucking kill someone!
What’s with this ticking clock? There’s no magic expiration date!
Look Gossip Girl, there’s clearly no honor code when it comes to this character defamation thing, so why would you think people would obey some kind of cessation of hostilities? Serena’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you!
8:44- You need to be cold to be queen. Put that on your FB profiles, kiddies.
Blair with The Tudors Spoiler Alert! Geez, B!
8:45- Looped…when you absolutely, positively MUST track down your target. Can we Looped Osama bin Laden?
8:47- “Drinks on me.”
RR: “YOU’RE ALL 18!”
8:48- What if Kristen Bell walked into the bar? “Oh, well that makes sense. I mean, we don’t know who the hell you are, but the voice matches.”
…Wait, does that make Chuck Gossip Girl?
8:49- Thank God Gossip Girl will be able to disseminate information across several campuses. Hey kid, the NSA called. Want a job?
8:50- One week later…
8:51- Frankly, I’m disappointed there hasn’t been a swine flu joke.
8:52- Vanessa: when you absolutely MUST rebound in time.
8:53- RR: I’m calling it. Plaid kid is Dan Humphrey’s brother. But WHY did he have to come from BU? Why can’t you give me SOMETHING, GG?
8:54- WIN. Roommate Ryan called it expertly.
8:56- Georgina Sparks in Season Three is incredibly wise.
8:57- Guess what, GG? I don’t care about Serena’s dad.
8:58- “Everywhere I went, you caught up with me…especially that time I bought a hooker who looked just like you.”
8:59- I’m sorry, I didn’t buy the kiss. They’ve had better. But I really enjoyed that last song by Shiny Toy Guns. Well, let’s wait for this to inevitably fall apart.
Filed under: Gossip Girl Review |