Ok, play it cool. Don’t grab a guitar right away, you’re gonna look desperate.
Hey, are you guys gonna play some Rock Band?
(You’re gonna play some fucking Rock Band.)
I wonder if they have any house rules? I bet you they have the singer choose the song. Like they have to do anything. It’s basically karaoke at this point, which is seriously like the easiest thing ever. If I’m going to shred it on expert, I should have a say in this.
What are you trying to pick here, singer? “Ace of Spades?” WHAT?
NOW you’re talking! “Living on a Prayer!” You’re finally getting it, singer-with-scarf. Rock Band at a party is the alternate ipod, and therefore, our song selection must be both awesome and competently played. I’m glad we have a black guy on drums.
Wow, girl with halter top is really going to play bass on easy. I can’t imagine anything simpler. Playing bass on easy is like making cereal. There’s literally not a single person who can’t do it. At least you won’t mess it up, and you’re going to make my hard core difficulty all the more legendary.
Yeah, you amateurs and gawkers! I’m playing guitar on expert! You don’t have to react, I know you’re fucking impressed. Never mind that I’m facing the TV and I can’t see your faces. I feel your amazement.
Cake. Total cake. God, I’m so good at this. See what I did with my pinkie there, cute blonde in tube top? Think about that. Just you think about it. I wonder if the singer will mind if we do that back-to-back thing that Mick Jagger and Keith Richardson do all the time so we sing together?
Yeesh. Ok, I get it. You don’t have to shove.
I’m doing really well! I sound great! Man, I guess I do a much better job when I’m kinda wasted. I’ve really got it going on, I bet I could play a guitar for real after all the Rock Band I’ve played. I heard if you’re an expert on drums, you’re pretty awesome at drums in real life. I bet that’s true on a real guitar. I wonder if someone here has a real guitar.
I should start a real band. It was be really cool, and then we could open a bar with our record sales.
…my hand, and we’ll make it I swearrrrr!!! Whooooo-aaahhhh! Livin’ on a prayerrr!
Shit, I missed the “Livin’ on a Prayer” drunk litmus test. Remember when the next chorus comes on to scan all the girls here. Anyone who’s belting out the chorus is always drunk and will be willing to perform oral sex on my expert legendary guitar skills. Always.
I would have gotten so much ass in the 80’s.
Soloooooo! Jesus, this is going faster than I thought. Oh no. Ohnononononooooo! Phew, got that back at the last second. What the fuck are you look at, easy bassist?
WOW. Everyone at this party must be drunk. I think my eardrums are bleeding from that last, “Whoa!” Not bad, singer-dude, I—
That was an ugly coffee table anyway. Thank God Tony’s not around. I’m gonna blame that one on Ryan.
Go crazy at the end!!! Go fucking nuts! Yeah! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH…oh dammit, here comes the end or I don’t get the bonus, where the hell have I put my fingers…NAILED IT! You all saw that! I freaking stuck that landing like a 14 year old Chinese chick!
90% on expert. Most gutsy. You’re welcome, 117 Gondor Ave. So long, Lebouf! He’s not driving, is he? Whatever.
Ok, who’s next for another round of the magic? Ohhhh step right up, sassy lady singer! We can perform a duet somewhere more private after this if you—
No. I will not play Alanis Morrisette.