The Gossip Girl Review: The Debarted

The Gossip Girl Review: Chuck Bass Sees Dead People

"The Island still needs you, Chuck."

So between planning the holiday party and the next glorious opportunity to shoot Serena’s boobs, the Gossip Girl producers asked the writers, “What was our biggest triumph last year?” The whole room said in unison, “Bart’s funeral,” and they were right. We got incredible performances out of Chuck and Blair, a really emotional ending, gripping and uncomfortable situations for pretty much all the characters, and a feeling that 2009 was going to be EPIC.

In short, the cake was a lie.

Bart Bass’ funeral episode was incredible because they just gave Chuck the damn ball and let him run roughshod over everyone. That’s it. This time around, I don’t know. The way they worked in Bart’s influcence over Chuck was just plain odd. For the Lost watching audience, there was no way to watch that and not think, “Did they just turn Bart into Christian Shepherd? What the hell is going on?”

I didn’t get it. Can’t we just throw Chuck the damn ball again and let him do what he does best? He didn’t need some ghost of fathers’ past last year and he certainly doesn’t need it now. It was too much, and sadly it took a lot of power out of what could have been a great Blair/Chuck episode, which we always enjoy.

For all of season three we’ve been watching Chuck come to Blair’s rescue, with maybe one or two exceptions. This episode was Blair’s chance to show us that she’s the strong one, to remind us that she IS a fierce force of good for those she loves…and they watered her down with the ghost of BART BASS? Get off my plane. On to the review!

Gossip Girl Review: When GG told us they’ve done NOTHING this season

How long has this season BEEN? We started around September, had a couple hiatuses, a few strings of episodes, due for another hiatus…and then socialite Poppy opens her big mouth. “So…everything’s EXACTLY the way it was?”

 

In the interest of fairness, we DID get to ogle Leighton Meester for a whole season. Net win, friends.

Yep, Gossip Girl just took us by the hand, patted us condescendingly on the cheek, and told us we were wandering in the desert for months…and we’ve been walking in circles.

 

Uh-oh.

 

I’m sorry, I know Gossip Girl is very self-referential, but should a show REALLY tell us that we’ve covered NO GROUND in a whole season? Did Gossip Girl just give us the finger and laugh at us for being led around by the nose to pretty much nowhere?

 

I feel dirty. So much more after the jump.

 

Gossip Girl Review: Blair Waldorf Lite

We too mourn the loss of Blair's character.

            Remember when Gossip Girl teased us with the maybe death of Bart Bass, then came back with arguably the best Chuck Bass episode made so far? Remember how you really got into the characters, their struggles, heartbreak, drama, intrigue, the works?

            Where the hell were those people last night?

             Granted, there was no big, story-changing moment that had occurred the episode before (though they tried their damnedest with Dan and Rachel now boning), but what the hell, Gossip Girl?