Baby, you know I love you. You also know how much I love video games. Sure, we play the odd console game now and then, but I know sometimes you think I put plug and play over…well, you get the idea. So to let you know how I truly feel about you, I’ve written you a love letter. It’s written in the blood of all the Covenant/Helghast/minions of Olympus that stood in my way to you.
1. I will always pause the game when you want to talk…about something besides about how incredible I am at dispatching Nazi zombies with impunity.
2. You can use my gamertag…just please use your own on Halo 3, Modern Warfare 2, NCAA ’11, or any other game my buddy Keith is particularly good at. Long story short, he caught me in a lie before I met you.
3. I promise I will never let you win in Mario Kart Wii.
4. When playing Co-op, you get first choice of the power-ups…but let me have the rocket launcher. It just takes a more delicate touch and there’s, like, no ammo for it on this map.
more after the jump!
Filed under: comedy, Essays, video games | Tagged: gamer love letter, girlfriends, halo 3, hot, lara croft, love, mario kart wii, mass effect 2, miranda lawson, modern warfare 2, no russian, red dead redemption, sheva alomar, sonic, tails, video games, woody tondorf | Leave a Comment »